Harold has a great head for heights. He has conquered all of the local peaks, climbing freestyle without the aid of ropes. Harold sees this as the only true expression of his natural talent. One day he hopes to take on the Himalayas, but for now Harold is restricted to the plastic rocks in his petting zoo just outside Devizes.
Traci is learning to respect herself more. For a long time, the flatulence associated with her high-fibre diet made her nervous in public and afraid of intimacy. Careful nurturing by her herd sisters, however, has boosted Traci’s confidence. Now she demands that she is respected for who she is, and not compared to some idealised version of a cow she can never live up to. Her sense of humour is blossoming, and her yield is up a gallon a day.
Heston likes to plan things. It’s his belief that proper advance planning can reduce the stress of any event or journey, so he spends a lot of time preparing. The most Heston has ever travelled is from one side of a Basingstoke garden to the other, but before setting off he repacked three times.
Bronwen has always craved the urban life. Growing up secretly in suburbia, she found birdsong and greenery tedious, and yearned for sirens, sodium lighting and the smell of thrice-cooked chips. As soon as she could fly, she found her way to London, where she gorged on discarded pastry and had countless sordid affairs. Her youthful good looks have long since gone, along with the sight in one eye and one of her feet, but she has no regrets. Where else can you get a lobster bap at three in the morning?
Arthur’s unflappable demeanour has always served him well. Never one to panic, he prefers to wait and see what unfolds before springing into action. Arthur loves macrame and will often spend all day practising his knots, which he hopes one day will impress the right lady. Unless, of course, she eats him.
Sandra worries about the future. Prudence is her watchword, and she’s been saving for a rainy day since the moment she left home. Sandra doesn’t trust banks, and buries her savings, which is just as well, because she’s not tall enough to use a cash machine.
Tom comes from a long line of expert thieves. Show him an object that twinkles, glows or shines, and he’ll be off with it before you can say ‘recidivist’. Sadly, Tom’s taste doesn’t match his skill, and he’s as likely to make off with a bottle cap as a diamond ring.
Jonas has poor table manners. No sooner is food put in front of him than he gulps it down, whether he’s alone or in company. Sharing is not a concept that he is familiar with, which makes dates rather tense affairs. Often Jonas eats alone, and for post dinner conversation he relies on the limited wit of passing jellyfish.
Callista has always had a thing for leather. As a foal this was harmless enough, but as she emerged into leggy adolescence, she experimented more and more. Nowadays to get satisfaction she needs to be flogged mercilessly as she plunges through brambly hedges. Callista prefers a companion in these sessions and has a penchant for short Irish gentlemen, although she has been known to chuck them with little or no warning and find her way home alone.
Peter loves to fish. Every morning, as soon as the sun bleaches the Eastern sky, he takes up his favourite spot by the river. He has honed his angling into a fine art, and testing himself daily against his adversaries below the water still gives him a real thrill. Peter feels his angling skills are superior to those of penguins and cormorants, because swimming is cheating.
Geometry Zoo 